Let’s face it….relationships are hard!! Because we all struggle with them from time to time, I’ve decided to put together a list of tips that may help cultivate a healthy relationship. This list is compiled from what I've witnessed throughout my career in working with people, my own personal experiences, and observations from people around me....annnddd maybeeee even some reality shows...where's my reality watchers at?! :p
As you are reading, keep in mind that the majority of these tips are not restricted to just romantic relationships. These can be used with friendships, family members, co-workers, your neighbor, etc.
Let's dive right in, shall we!
Relationship Tips:
Don’t assume.
Most arguments happen when we assume something from another person and believe it to be fact. We may assume how they were feeling about something, how they acted, something they said to someone else, etc. Oftentimes we get it wayyyy wrong and we build up this entire thing in our head when it could have been avoided by not assuming, and just asking.
Safety.
Create a safe environment for each other to talk about feelings freely and openly. Listen and approach without judgment.
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Don’t be afraid to talk about things. Tell them if you’re feeling some type of way. Tell them you are uncertain about something. Share your stories together. Share your thoughts on things. If you’re nervous to bring up something, even communicate that! “Hey, I have something I want to tell you but I’m not sure how to start and I’m nervous, so I’m just going to hurry up and say it!”
Have hard conversations.
This one falls in line with the one above. The more we communicate, the easier those hard conversations will be. Be committed to allowing each other bring up topics that are difficult.
Be respectful.
As the Queen of Soul, once said “R-E-S-P-E-C-T….find out what it means to me!” Talk to your partner about your definition of respect and what that looks like to you, and vice versa. Once you have that information, treat each other as so.
Check-in often.
Make it a habit to check-in, not only with yourself, but with your partner (friend, co-worker, etc.). Set aside a specific time each week to check-in with each other. This can create a sense of trust of care between each other. Check below on what “checking-in” can look like.
Be aware of your trauma.
Past trauma often comes up more when you’re in a relationship. This can be for a number of reasons; that person can trigger and bring up certain emotions and feelings. When we are in a relationship, we have someone pointing out our behaviors, whereas, when we are single we might not notice what we are doing or recognize certain habits. You are NOT responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for your own healing.
Don’t be their therapist.
You can’t fix each other or be each other’s therapist. Venting, confiding, and sharing with your significant other is perfectly natural and normal. However, it is important to recognize we cannot solve their problems for them, nor it is your responsibility to do so.
Healthy boundaries.
Have healthy boundaries with each other. Share those boundaries. If you are curious or have questions on those boundaries, ask them. Be respectful of each others’ and recognize those boundaries are what allows each other to continue on with the relationship.
Because we are talking about relationships, many of these tips also require someone else’s commitment and dedication. Send this blog to your partner, friend, family member, etc. and have this as a starting point on discussing your relationship. Ask each other….which one’s do you think we need to work on; which ones do you think we do a good job with; which things make you uncomfortable and might need help with, etc.
Stay tuned for more relationships tips in part TWO! Coming soon.....
Keep an eye out for additional blog posts providing tips on parenting, communication, therapy, and more!
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